Child custody orders are designed to provide structure, stability, and clarity for both parents and children. Unfortunately, even after a custody arrangement has been approved by the court, disputes can still arise. One parent may repeatedly miss exchanges, refuse to follow the parenting schedule, withhold communication, or make important decisions without consulting the other parent as required by the order.
If your ex is not complying with a custody order, it is important to understand that the order is legally binding. While occasional misunderstandings can happen, repeated violations should not be ignored.
Common Custody Order Violations
Custody disputes can take many forms. Some of the most common violations include:
- Refusing to return a child at the scheduled time
- Denying court-ordered parenting time
- Frequently canceling visits without justification
- Failing to inform the other parent about important medical, educational, or extracurricular matters
- Making major decisions without the required consent of the other parent
- Interfering with communication between the child and the other parent
- Relocating with the child without proper notice or court approval
Even when a parent believes they are acting in the child’s best interests, ignoring a court order can create legal consequences.
Document the Problem
If your ex is not following the custody order, one of the most important things you can do is keep detailed records. Courts rely on evidence, and clear documentation can help demonstrate a pattern of noncompliance.
Consider keeping a log that includes:
- Dates and times of missed exchanges
- Copies of emails, text messages, or other communications
- Notes about conversations or incidents
- Information about any witnesses who observed the violations
It is important to remain factual and objective. Detailed records often carry more weight than emotional accusations.
Try to Resolve the Issue First
Not every custody dispute requires immediate court intervention. In some situations, a direct conversation or written communication can resolve the problem. Misunderstandings, scheduling conflicts, and changes in circumstances sometimes contribute to custody disagreements.
When communicating with the other parent, try to remain calm and focused on the child’s needs. Avoid arguments, threats, or inflammatory language, as these communications may later be reviewed by the court.
Mediation may also be an option. A neutral mediator can help parents address ongoing conflicts and develop solutions without the expense and stress of litigation.
When Court Intervention Becomes Necessary
If violations continue despite your efforts to resolve the issue, you may need to seek assistance from the court. Vermont courts take custody orders seriously and have the authority to enforce them.
Depending on the circumstances, a parent may file a motion asking the court to:
- Enforce the existing custody order
- Require makeup parenting time
- Hold the noncompliant parent in contempt of court
- Modify the existing custody arrangement
- Award attorney’s fees or other appropriate remedies
The court will review the evidence and determine whether a violation occurred and what action is appropriate.
Avoid Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands
When frustrations build, it can be tempting to respond by withholding parenting time or ignoring parts of the custody order yourself. However, doing so can create additional legal problems and may weaken your position if the matter returns to court.
Even if you believe the other parent is acting unfairly, it is generally best to continue following the existing order while pursuing legal remedies through the proper channels.
Focus on the Best Interests of the Child
At the center of every custody dispute is a child who benefits from stability, consistency, and healthy parental relationships whenever possible. Vermont courts evaluate custody issues based on the best interests of the child, and parents who demonstrate a willingness to support those interests are often viewed more favorably.
If your ex is not following a custody order, addressing the issue promptly can help protect both your parental rights and your child’s well-being.
Contact Deppman Law PLC
If you are dealing with ongoing custody order violations or have questions about your rights as a parent, Deppman Law PLC can help. Our team can evaluate your situation, explain your legal options, and guide you through the process of enforcing or modifying a custody order when necessary.
Contact Deppman Law PLC today to schedule a consultation and learn how we can help protect your family and your future.

