Can My Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Vermont?
May 18, 2025

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When Vermont parents go through a divorce or separation, one of the most emotionally charged questions is where the child will live—and whether the child gets a say in that decision. Many parents ask, “Can my child choose which parent to live with in Vermont?”


The short answer is: not exactly, but the child’s preferences may be considered depending on age, maturity, and circumstances. Vermont courts always prioritize the best interests of the child, and while a child's wishes can be a factor, they are never the sole deciding factor.


How Vermont Courts Make Custody Decisions


In Vermont, the legal term for custody is parental rights and responsibilities (PR&R). Courts can allocate these responsibilities in several ways:

  • Sole legal and physical responsibility to one parent
  • Shared legal and/or physical responsibility between both parents
  • Split or hybrid arrangements depending on the child’s needs


When determining these arrangements, courts must assess what is in the best interest of the child. To do so, judges use a set of statutory factors, including:

  • The child’s relationship with each parent
  • Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs
  • The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
  • The ability of the parents to communicate and cooperate
  • The stability of each parent’s household
  • And, in some cases, the child’s wishes


When Do a Child’s Preferences Matter?


Vermont does not set a specific age at which a child can choose which parent to live with. Instead, courts look at:

  • The child’s age and maturity
  • The child’s reasoning for their preference
  • Whether the child is being influenced or pressured by either parent


For example, a thoughtful and well-articulated preference from a 14-year-old who wants to remain in the same school district might carry more weight than a 10-year-old who prefers one parent because they have fewer rules or more video games.

Courts are cautious to ensure that a child’s preference is genuine, well-reasoned, and not coerced, and they may also consider how expressing that preference could emotionally affect the child.


Does My Child Have to Testify in Court?


In most cases, Vermont courts try to avoid putting children on the witness stand, recognizing that testifying against a parent can be stressful and traumatic.


Instead, the child’s preferences may be gathered in other ways:

  • Through a Guardian ad Litem, appointed to represent the child’s best interests
  • In a custody evaluation by a mental health professional
  • During in-camera interviews with the judge (in chambers and off the record)
  • Through input from a family therapist or social worker

These options help preserve the child’s emotional well-being while still giving the court access to their views.


What If My Teenager Refuses to Visit the Other Parent?


As children get older—especially in their mid to late teens—it becomes more difficult to force visitation that they strongly oppose. While the court order must still be followed, judges and attorneys recognize that real-world enforcement with older teens can be challenging and sometimes counterproductive.

If a teenager is refusing visitation, it’s important for both parents to:

  • Explore the reasons behind the resistance
  • Avoid blaming or alienating the other parent
  • Consider seeking a modification of the parenting schedule, if appropriate

Ignoring the court order or encouraging a child to resist visitation can backfire legally. Instead, it’s best to seek legal guidance to address the issue constructively.


Tips for Parents Handling Custody Preferences


  • Be respectful of your child’s feelings, but don’t promise outcomes you can’t control.
  • Don’t pressure your child to “choose sides.” Courts frown upon any signs of parental manipulation.
  • Communicate with the other parent and stay focused on your child’s well-being.
  • Seek legal advice before making changes to a court-ordered custody arrangement.


Speak with a Vermont Family Law Attorney


Child custody decisions are never easy, especially when your child’s preferences come into play. At Deppman Law PLC, we help Vermont families manage these complex and emotional issues with care, clarity, and experience. If you’re facing a custody dispute or need help understanding your rights and options, our team is here to guide you. Contact Deppman Law today to schedule a consultation and find out how we can support you and your family through the custody process.

Understanding Vermont’s Property Disclosure Requirements

September 18, 2025
What sellers must legally share with buyers…and what happens if they don’t Selling a home or property in Vermont involves several legal steps, but one of the most important — and often overlooked — is the requirement to disclose information about the property’s condition. Unlike some states where detailed, standardized disclosure forms are required by law, Vermont takes a slightly different approach. Still, sellers are obligated to provide accurate and truthful information about the property, particularly regarding any known defects or issues that could impact its value or use. Do I Have to Disclose Defects When Selling My Property in Vermont? In Vermont, there is no statewide mandatory property disclosure form required by law. However, Vermont courts have clearly established that sellers must not make material misrepresentations or intentionally withhold information about known defects. In simple terms: you don’t have to volunteer every detail, but you can’t lie or conceal something significant. Because of this, most sellers — especially those working with real estate agents — complete a Property Information Report or another disclosure form anyway. These documents typically cover the age and condition of systems like plumbing, roofing, electrical work, heating, water supply, septic tanks, and more. Sellers may also be asked to disclose whether the home contains asbestos, lead paint, structural damage, or boundary disputes. If a seller is unsure about a particular item (like the age of a roof), they can state that they're uncertain — but they cannot knowingly provide false information. What Counts as a “Material Defect”? A material defect is any issue that could affect the value or livability of the property. Examples include: A leaky roof or foundation cracks Water damage or mold problems A malfunctioning water heater or furnace Infestations Boundary disputes or title issues Unsafe drinking water or septic system failure Hazardous materials, such as asbestos or a buried oil tank If a seller is aware of such issues and fails to disclose them — or worse, attempts to hide them — they could be held liable for fraud or misrepresentation, even after the sale has closed. What Happens If a Seller Fails to Disclose a Known Issue? If a buyer later discovers an undisclosed problem with the property, the seller could face legal consequences, such as: Paying for repairs or replacement of damaged or defective systems Compensating the buyer for a loss in the property’s market value Cancellation of the sale , in extreme cases Punitive damages if the court finds evidence of willful fraud The burden is often on the buyer to prove that the seller knew about the defect and intentionally failed to disclose it. That’s why many buyers in Vermont choose to work with qualified real estate attorneys and inspectors when purchasing property, especially when buying older or rural homes. What About “As Is” Sales? Even if a property is sold “as is,” a seller is still responsible for disclosing any known material defects. The “as is” clause simply means that the seller will not make repairs before the sale — not that they’re excused from telling the truth about the property’s condition. Best Practices for Sellers To minimize risk: Be honest about the property, even if it means disclosing costly issues. Use standardized property disclosure forms, even if not technically required. Keep records of inspections, repairs, and maintenance. Consult an attorney if you’re unsure about what to disclose. Disclosing a defect upfront is almost always cheaper — and far less stressful — than dealing with a lawsuit later. Need Legal Guidance? Buying or selling property in Vermont can be complicated, especially when it comes to disclosure obligations. At Deppman Law PLC, we help clients manage real estate transactions with clarity and confidence. Contact our office today to discuss your real estate questions and ensure your transaction is handled the right way, with the protection and peace of mind you deserve.

Gray Divorce—Unique Challenges for Couples 50 and Up in Vermont

August 20, 2025
Understanding retirement accounts, health insurance, and estate planning in later-life divorce Divorce is challenging at any age. But when it occurs later in life, it comes with a unique set of emotional, financial, and legal considerations. Known as “gray divorce,” this trend is on the rise nationwide, and Vermont is no exception. Whether it’s a couple who’s grown apart after decades together, a second marriage that didn’t work out, or an unexpected separation due to changing needs or values, older Vermonters face specific challenges when untangling their lives. If you’re over 50 and thinking about divorce — or already in the process — it's important to understand how Vermont law impacts key issues like retirement savings, health insurance, and long-term financial security. Dividing Retirement Benefits in Gray Divorce One of the biggest financial concerns for older couples is how divorce will affect retirement savings. In Vermont, retirement accounts — including 401(k)s, pensions, IRAs, or other investments — are generally considered marital property if they were earned or contributed to during the marriage. These assets are subject to equitable distribution — meaning a fair division, not necessarily an equal one. However, splitting retirement accounts is not as simple as taking a number and dividing it in half. Depending on the type of account, you may need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) or other legal tools to divide funds without triggering taxes or penalties. A thoughtful approach is key to ensuring both spouses can maintain financial stability during retirement. Health Insurance After Divorce In a gray divorce, health insurance can be a major issue — especially if one spouse has been relying on the other’s employer-based coverage. Once the divorce is finalized, coverage typically ends for the non-employee spouse. Here are options to consider: COBRA— Allows temporary continuation of coverage (at full cost) for up to 36 months. Vermont Health Connect— Offers individual health insurance plans, sometimes with subsidies depending on income. Medicare Eligibility— If one or both spouses are 65+, Medicare may be available — but understanding enrollment timelines and supplemental coverage options matters. Making the right choice can have a significant impact on both cost and quality of care during your later years. Estate Planning Must Be Updated Many divorcing couples overlook estate planning — but for those 50 and older, it’s essential. A divorce should prompt a full review of all important documents, including: Wills and trusts Powers of attorney Health care proxies Beneficiary designations (insurance policies, retirement plans, etc.) These documents likely name a spouse in key roles — and unless updated, they may leave your ex-spouse with unintended control over your medical, financial, or estate matters. Vermont courts encourage this reassessment to ensure your future wishes are clearly and legally defined. Emotional and Lifestyle Impacts Gray divorce isn't just about finances — it's about rebuilding life at a stage when identities are deeply intertwined. Many older adults face questions like: Where will I live now? How will I manage life alone after decades of marriage? What does my social circle look like now? Navigating these questions with support — both legal and personal — can help create a healthy path forward. Legal Guidance During a Later-Life Divorce At Deppman Law PLC, we understand the financial and emotional complexities of gray divorce in Vermont. Our goal is to help you make confident, informed decisions about your future. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation and ensure that your next chapter is protected, both legally and financially.