Gray Divorce—Unique Challenges for Couples 50 and Up in Vermont
August 20, 2025

Understanding retirement accounts, health insurance, and estate planning in later-life divorce

Divorce is challenging at any age. But when it occurs later in life, it comes with a unique set of emotional, financial, and legal considerations. Known as “gray divorce,” this trend is on the rise nationwide, and Vermont is no exception. Whether it’s a couple who’s grown apart after decades together, a second marriage that didn’t work out, or an unexpected separation due to changing needs or values, older Vermonters face specific challenges when untangling their lives.

If you’re over 50 and thinking about divorce — or already in the process — it's important to understand how Vermont law impacts key issues like retirement savings, health insurance, and long-term financial security.


Dividing Retirement Benefits in Gray Divorce

One of the biggest financial concerns for older couples is how divorce will affect retirement savings. In Vermont, retirement accounts — including 401(k)s, pensions, IRAs, or other investments — are generally considered marital property if they were earned or contributed to during the marriage.

These assets are subject to equitable distribution — meaning a fair division, not necessarily an equal one. However, splitting retirement accounts is not as simple as taking a number and dividing it in half. Depending on the type of account, you may need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) or other legal tools to divide funds without triggering taxes or penalties.

A thoughtful approach is key to ensuring both spouses can maintain financial stability during retirement.


Health Insurance After Divorce

In a gray divorce, health insurance can be a major issue — especially if one spouse has been relying on the other’s employer-based coverage. Once the divorce is finalized, coverage typically ends for the non-employee spouse.

Here are options to consider:

  • COBRA—Allows temporary continuation of coverage (at full cost) for up to 36 months.
  • Vermont Health Connect—Offers individual health insurance plans, sometimes with subsidies depending on income.
  • Medicare Eligibility—If one or both spouses are 65+, Medicare may be available — but understanding enrollment timelines and supplemental coverage options matters.

Making the right choice can have a significant impact on both cost and quality of care during your later years.


Estate Planning Must Be Updated

Many divorcing couples overlook estate planning — but for those 50 and older, it’s essential. A divorce should prompt a full review of all important documents, including:

  • Wills and trusts
  • Powers of attorney
  • Health care proxies
  • Beneficiary designations (insurance policies, retirement plans, etc.)

These documents likely name a spouse in key roles — and unless updated, they may leave your ex-spouse with unintended control over your medical, financial, or estate matters. Vermont courts encourage this reassessment to ensure your future wishes are clearly and legally defined.


Emotional and Lifestyle Impacts

Gray divorce isn't just about finances — it's about rebuilding life at a stage when identities are deeply intertwined. Many older adults face questions like:

  • Where will I live now?
  • How will I manage life alone after decades of marriage?
  • What does my social circle look like now?

Navigating these questions with support — both legal and personal — can help create a healthy path forward.


Legal Guidance During a Later-Life Divorce

At Deppman Law PLC, we understand the financial and emotional complexities of gray divorce in Vermont. Our goal is to help you make confident, informed decisions about your future. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation and ensure that your next chapter is protected, both legally and financially.


May 11, 2026
One of the most common misconceptions about estate planning is that it is only about deciding who receives your assets after you pass away. While distributing property is certainly an important part of the process, a well-crafted estate plan can serve another equally valuable purpose — helping prevent family disputes. Unfortunately, disagreements among family members are not uncommon after a loved one’s death. Questions about inheritances, decision-making authority, and personal property can quickly create tension, even among close relatives. In some cases, these conflicts can lead to lengthy legal battles that drain both financial resources and family relationships. The good news is that thoughtful estate planning can significantly reduce the likelihood of these disputes and provide clarity during an already difficult time. Create a Clear and Comprehensive Estate Plan One of the leading causes of family conflict is uncertainty. When estate planning documents are outdated or nonexistent, surviving family members are often left to interpret what they believe their loved one would have wanted. A comprehensive estate plan typically includes a will, powers of attorney, advance healthcare directives, and, in some cases, a trust. These documents clearly outline your wishes and establish who is responsible for carrying them out. The more clearly your intentions are documented, the less room there is for confusion, disagreement, or competing interpretations. Keep Your Documents Up to Date Even the best estate plan can create problems if it no longer reflects your current circumstances. Major life events such as marriage, divorce, the birth of a child, the death of a beneficiary, or significant changes in assets should prompt a review of your estate planning documents. Outdated plans can unintentionally exclude loved ones or leave assets to individuals you no longer intend to benefit. Regular reviews help ensure that your plan remains aligned with your wishes and reduces the likelihood of surprises that can trigger family disputes. Choose the Right People for Key Roles Estate planning involves more than deciding who inherits your assets. It also requires selecting individuals to serve in important fiduciary roles, such as executor, trustee, agent under a power of attorney, or healthcare decision-maker. These responsibilities can be demanding and sometimes place family members in difficult positions. When choosing individuals for these roles, consider their reliability, organizational skills, ability to communicate effectively, and willingness to carry out your wishes. Selecting the right person can help prevent misunderstandings and build confidence among family members that your affairs will be handled fairly and responsibly. Be Thoughtful About Unequal Distributions Many people assume that assets must be divided equally among children or other beneficiaries. In reality, there may be valid reasons to leave different amounts to different individuals. However, unequal distributions can sometimes create resentment if family members do not understand the reasoning behind them. If your estate plan includes unequal gifts, consider discussing your intentions with your family or including a written explanation as part of your planning process. While these conversations may feel uncomfortable, they can often prevent misunderstandings and reduce the risk of challenges after your death. Address Family Businesses, Real Estate, and Personal Property Certain assets tend to create more conflict than others. Family businesses, vacation homes, farms, and sentimental personal property often carry emotional value that goes beyond their financial worth. A thoughtful estate plan should address how these assets will be managed, divided, or transferred. Clear instructions can help avoid disputes over ownership, use, maintenance responsibilities, or future sales. Taking the time to plan for these issues now can save your loved ones from difficult decisions later. Consider Using a Trust For some families, a trust can provide additional structure and protection. Trusts can establish clear rules for managing and distributing assets, reduce court involvement, and provide ongoing oversight through a designated trustee. Trusts can be particularly useful in blended families, situations involving minor children, or circumstances where beneficiaries may need assistance managing inherited assets. By clearly outlining how assets should be handled, a trust can reduce opportunities for conflict and help ensure your wishes are followed. Communication Can Make a Difference While estate planning documents are essential, open communication can also play an important role in preventing disputes. Family members are often less likely to challenge decisions when they understand the reasoning behind them. You do not need to disclose every detail of your estate plan, but discussing your general goals and intentions can help manage expectations and reduce the likelihood of surprises. Contact Deppman Law PLC Estate planning is about more than transferring assets—it is about protecting your loved ones and helping preserve family harmony for years to come. A carefully designed estate plan can provide clarity and minimize the risk of costly disputes. If you would like to create or update an estate plan that reflects your wishes and protects your family, contact Deppman Law PLC today . Our team can help you develop a comprehensive plan tailored to your unique circumstances and long-term goals.
April 14, 2026
Child custody orders are designed to provide structure, stability, and clarity for both parents and children. Unfortunately, even after a custody arrangement has been approved by the court, disputes can still arise. One parent may repeatedly miss exchanges, refuse to follow the parenting schedule, withhold communication, or make important decisions without consulting the other parent as required by the order. If your ex is not complying with a custody order, it is important to understand that the order is legally binding. While occasional misunderstandings can happen, repeated violations should not be ignored. Common Custody Order Violations Custody disputes can take many forms. Some of the most common violations include: Refusing to return a child at the scheduled time Denying court-ordered parenting time Frequently canceling visits without justification Failing to inform the other parent about important medical, educational, or extracurricular matters Making major decisions without the required consent of the other parent Interfering with communication between the child and the other parent Relocating with the child without proper notice or court approval Even when a parent believes they are acting in the child’s best interests, ignoring a court order can create legal consequences. Document the Problem If your ex is not following the custody order, one of the most important things you can do is keep detailed records. Courts rely on evidence, and clear documentation can help demonstrate a pattern of noncompliance. Consider keeping a log that includes: Dates and times of missed exchanges Copies of emails, text messages, or other communications Notes about conversations or incidents Information about any witnesses who observed the violations It is important to remain factual and objective. Detailed records often carry more weight than emotional accusations. Try to Resolve the Issue First Not every custody dispute requires immediate court intervention. In some situations, a direct conversation or written communication can resolve the problem. Misunderstandings, scheduling conflicts, and changes in circumstances sometimes contribute to custody disagreements. When communicating with the other parent, try to remain calm and focused on the child’s needs. Avoid arguments, threats, or inflammatory language, as these communications may later be reviewed by the court. Mediation may also be an option. A neutral mediator can help parents address ongoing conflicts and develop solutions without the expense and stress of litigation. When Court Intervention Becomes Necessary If violations continue despite your efforts to resolve the issue, you may need to seek assistance from the court. Vermont courts take custody orders seriously and have the authority to enforce them. Depending on the circumstances, a parent may file a motion asking the court to: Enforce the existing custody order Require makeup parenting time Hold the noncompliant parent in contempt of court Modify the existing custody arrangement Award attorney’s fees or other appropriate remedies The court will review the evidence and determine whether a violation occurred and what action is appropriate. Avoid Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands When frustrations build, it can be tempting to respond by withholding parenting time or ignoring parts of the custody order yourself. However, doing so can create additional legal problems and may weaken your position if the matter returns to court. Even if you believe the other parent is acting unfairly, it is generally best to continue following the existing order while pursuing legal remedies through the proper channels. Focus on the Best Interests of the Child At the center of every custody dispute is a child who benefits from stability, consistency, and healthy parental relationships whenever possible. Vermont courts evaluate custody issues based on the best interests of the child, and parents who demonstrate a willingness to support those interests are often viewed more favorably. If your ex is not following a custody order, addressing the issue promptly can help protect both your parental rights and your child’s well-being. Contact Deppman Law PLC If you are dealing with ongoing custody order violations or have questions about your rights as a parent, Deppman Law PLC can help. Our team can evaluate your situation, explain your legal options, and guide you through the process of enforcing or modifying a custody order when necessary. Contact Deppman Law PLC today to schedule a consultation and learn how we can help protect your family and your future.